All over the web you can see adoptive parents’ referral videos. They are sitting in front of a computer and burst into tears when they first see a photo of their little one.

Don’t think that is likely to happen to us.

So, after dealing with the headaches that are adoption agencies, I decided to simply contact an organization in Ghana that works in many ways to help orphans. One way that they help, is to work with US adoption agencies to find homes for children who truly need them. These children often aren’t even living in an orphanage. They are living with a relative who can hardly feed themselves let alone an additional small child.

Independent adoption is legal in Ghana and we have all the necessary paperwork since the last agency told us what we need so, what not skip the middle-man that causes so much headache? The main concern with our adoption is that it is done ethically and legally. I feel very confident with this organization in Ghana so, eliminating the US agency allows us to cut out someone who might not be as ethical. So, last week, I contacted the organization in Ghana and they agreed to work with us!!!

Things have still been a bit fuzzy and slow, but at least now I know where the hang up is if I don’t get an answer.

Back to the referral thing… this organization is just like any other non-profit, overworked. I was told about a little girl last Wednesday and today got an email with her photo. Nothing else, just her photo. I had to write back and ask if this was the little girl we talked about as he had mentioned 2 little girls who had little brothers. Was this one of them? Was this a new little girl? Where was the brother?

It will all get sorted out in time, but there is a chance that I saw a photo of our daughter today. it is weird to think that I saw her face and didn’t know it was her. When you deliver at the hospital BOOM, there is their little face and they are yours. When you get a referral through and agency, you open the email knowing that the little person you see is meant to be yours.

Yep.. this was a bit different.



  1. I know this is nerve-racking and hard on your heart, but I have faith that you are going to end up with the exact right and perfect little human for your family…hang in there!
    Gramma Cupcake

  2. Can I ask why you would want to split a family apart? Instead of taking this child out of the only home they know, why not donate to make it possible for this family to stay together? If you are truly looking out for the best interests of the child, then taking the child out of their home certainly cannot be in his/her best interest. We need to stop and think whether or not this is about what we need, versus what the child really needs.

  3. Catherine, I'm not sure where you get the idea that we would want to split a family apart. I was only sent the one photo of a little girl and since I had been told she had a brother, it was my first question back. We will only adopt a child that needs a home and we will not split up siblings so, we might end up adopting 2 if there are only 2 siblings in the family unit. If there are 4, for instance, we wouldn't be able to adopt any as we are not comfortable splitting up the family.

    I'm also a bit confused as to why you assume that they have a home and just need money. I have sent a long list of questions that we need answered before we would be able to adopt any child, one of which is how many living relatives they have. Unfortunately, in 3rd world countries it is entirely possible that no living family members exist. The organization that we are working with tries to find loving homes for these children. While they are able to "foster" them themselves until a family is found, there are simply too many children to care for. Money would only solve the issue of food and clothing, not being able to provide enough emotional support and love for all of them.

    Rest assured, we will not be adopting a child that has a perfectly good home and just needs financial assistance.

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