It occurred to me yesterday that although I’ve been updating this blog with the day-to-day activities of our adoption, I haven’t shared much about what else is going on. You know, the “feeling” side of things. We really want this blog to help to the entire story to our new son or daughter so, I’m going to try to start sharing a bit more 🙂
Yesterday I attended a baby shower for a good friend. She is the perfect little pregnant lady – adorable! Her little bump (I guess it is pretty big now at 8 months) just makes her that much more beautiful and she shows it off with very fashionable clothing. It was a beautiful shower with great food, great games and great gifts! Also in attendance were 2 other pregnant women.
I ended up in a group chatting with all 3 of them at the same time and one non-preggers. At some point, the non-preggers looked at me surprised and said “you’re pregnant too?!” (Someone must have said something about our new baby coming the same time as theirs). I had to respond “No, but we’re expecting!”
Honestly, I love this not being pregnant thing. As they all complained (in a happy-I’m-pregnant sort of way) about their clothes not fitting, leg cramps, morning sickness and hot flashes, I was feeling great, healthy, normal. That said, pregnancy wasn’t that bad with Carter and there are things that adoptive moms miss out on. People knowing your “pregnant” for example. Having your bump stick out there and have perfect strangers congratulate you on your upcoming addition. When you’re pregnant, it is all that anyone wants to talk about with you. When you’re adopting, it only comes up if the right question is asked and then, some people are uncomfortable asking questions or talking about. No one is uncomfortable asking your due date or if you’ve been sick when you’re pregnant.
Standing in that group, it finally hit me that I’m “pregnant” and no one knows unless I tell them. It was kind of sad. I felt like a total outsider in a group of expectant mothers. 2 years from now, our kids will play together, but for now, I’m not really in the group.
Everyday I realize more pros and cons to adoption, but the cons NEVER outweigh the pros. And, everyday we get more excited about bring our newest home!
From another fellow adoptive mom to another… CONGRATULATIONS!!! ;o) I think about this often especially since Paul has 5 sisters that have a baby every 1-2 years. I'm never in the group! That is why I'm always reading adoption blogs and trying to meet more adoptive parents. It makes me feel more normal!